Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
