My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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