at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
