Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
