The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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