I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I had to cum in my sink.
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