eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
