Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
