I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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