As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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