Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize