i think my mom watched the whole time
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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