dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
