so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
