He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
