Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
