i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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