Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
