He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
