Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
