Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
