I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
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