when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize