people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
