Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
After last night, I could never be a politician.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
