I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
