and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's always time for handjobs
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
