Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
