If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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