Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
