It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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