so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
