nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
