you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
