im about as happy as oj after his trial
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
