I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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