Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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