I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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