theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize