Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
