Soap is not a condiment
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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