Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
