smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
