There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
