then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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