Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
