Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
