Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
