Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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