Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
