If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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