Is it normal to miss your booty call?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
