I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You're like the curious george of whores
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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