I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
