Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
