I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
