I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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