Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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